i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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