Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
