I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Randomize
