My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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