I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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