My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.