i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars