He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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