At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
