Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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