i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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