I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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