Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
