Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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