You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize