i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
