I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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