so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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