went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
