we're blogging at a bar
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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