Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize