I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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