It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
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