one word: firstdatebathroomanal
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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