the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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