You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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