who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Randomize