What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
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