So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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