Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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