You really coming over, don't trick.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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