Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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