I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
