dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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