I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
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the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
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omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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