Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
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Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
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Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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