This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
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did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
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Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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