the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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