I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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