that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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