the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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