Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Can I color on your dick again?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
