For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
