I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
