guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
