Do vagina's smell?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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