distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize
