return my video game
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
