then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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