It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
