OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize