I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize