the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
