If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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