um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
