I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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