I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
