I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
