Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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