So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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