nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
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