Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
