i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
i now understand why vodka
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
