Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
