i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
well you can't waste a boner
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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